I looooove GOLD...FAIL

First Spring Break project = FAIL.

You see, I was inspired to add a little gold to our living room from this

piece.

I had a good start with this hutch/bookshelf we built a while ago. It is practically the same color and I thought, "Self, why don't you paint the back of the shelves gold?"

FABULOUS IDEA SELF. I thought about gold leafing. In fact, that's what I went to Michaels to buy... but I was swayed by the thought that metallic paint might be cheaper and less steps. Enter this guy:

Acrylic gold metallic paint. PERFECT! And it was only $4. I got home, stoked about the fact that I would have gold and teal bookshelf in no time. I emptied the shelves, wiped it down..

and started painting with a foam brush. Here's where the FAIL started. The back of the shelves is plywood and was a little rough which means the foam brush hung up and the paint did not go on smooth.

Ok, no problem. "Self, get a regular brush." Great, good coverage, it will probably just need 2 coats and then...

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM...

You see where the paint is not sticking? Yeah, that's not good.

So, I spent the next 10 minutes wiping all the paint off with a wet paper towel. I am now left with this:

and I need your help. If I went back to Michaels (dreading, dreading...) and got gold leaf, this cheap project would soon turn into a $75 project. I would love to do gold spray paint but this thing weighs about 400lbs and I am not lugging it outside. So what should I do??